This essay captures my own feelings about living through difficult times.
From Invincible Summer by Reverend Bruce Clear
In the depth of winter, I finally learned that within me there lay an invincible summer. - Albert Camus

Like the winter season, the wintry times of life make great demands upon us. Like the season, winter time in the heart impresses itself upon us, and reminds us of our fragility, our subjugation to conditions beyond our control; it reminds us of our mortality.

A wintry faith can be committed to accepting the tragic dimensions of life. It does not seek to transform sorrow into joy, but instead to confront sorrow on its own terms, and find some meaning within it. There is hope in a wintry faith, but it is the kind of hope that comes from strength, not by defeating pain, but by learning from it, and learning to live with it, learning to live in spite of it, and learning to live after it has left its mark. It makes us ready to accept summer, when summer comes.

But winter is just one season, and very few people can live in winter continually. Eventually, there comes the Spring thaw, and the promise of summer is felt. In the darkest nights of winter, we know that summer will come. Eventually, the coldness of winter in the heart begins to fade, and a new season emerges. Those who appreciate winter, who are strengthened by the cold absence felt in the heart, are also capable of appreciating summer, when it is summer's turn to come. But winter is never forgotten. The memory of a bitter furious cold will linger, sometimes close at hand and sometimes far away, but the memory never fades completely for those who appreciate a wintry faith.

From a sermon given by Rev. Bruce Clear on January 11, 2004 at All Souls Unitarian Church, Indianapolis, Indiana. The full sermon is at http://www.allsoulsuuindy.org/ser20040111.htm

1.     Don’t judge, try to understand 

•  A person can look normal and still have special needs. 
  
•  My sib isn’t causing problems or acting weird on purpose. There are reasons for the way they are acting 
  

          -       He can’t control his behavior
          -       Sometimes things are just too much and then he melts down 
          -       She wants to be friends but others can’t always tell 
          -       Sometimes they just don’t understand
          -       She is doing the best she can even if it doesn’t look like it 
          -       He is not trying to be mean, he really is nice instead 

• Don’t judge me based on my sib’s behavior. I’m not the same just because I’m related 
  

 2.     Show good manners – sometimes people act mean 

•  Don’t stare - it’s not polite
  
•  Don’t call names 
  
• Don’t gossip 
  

 3.     We get tired of people asking the same questions.

• Watch what you say. Don’t ask obvious questions. Even when people are trying to be nice, we get tired of them. 
  
• I like to act as if my family is normal. Asking questions just reminds me that we aren’t 

 4.     We wish people could be warned about what to expect (without us having to tell them). 

• Sometimes sibs really want certain things. It may seem odd but we do it her way to keep the peace. 
  
• Many of us have sibs who don’t handle frustration well. It is often easier to just give him what he wants, even if it isn’t fair.Some of us have sibs that can be dangerous – yelling or kicking. 
  

 5.     The most important thing for people to know: Disabilities, syndromes, and odd behavior are not bad, just different. Having differences is good. We wish we could tell the world, “You don’t get it – different is OK!”